Do I have to let people treat me this way?
Are we always responsible for the way someone treats us?
Especially in close up relationships it’s harder for you to accept that you are the creator of your own reality because you experience the other clearly coming on with this unpleasant behavior – so you’d like to give them at least some of the credit. In fact many of you would like to give them all the credit! Because if they would behave better, you would feel better. We don’t disagree with that in the sense that blaming the other gives you some kind of short term relief.
BUT in blaming you give up the empowerment that comes from knowing that you attract, that it’s up to you to choose the way you feel about all things.
Whenever you meet or interact with people who you know, there is immediately this tendency to replay of what you have lived before with them. But if you meet with complete strangers, there are no expectations; the slate is clean and there is something awfully refreshing about evoking and discovering the power of your ability to attract.
In your relationships we would like to encourage you to say: “I am going to start noticing my ability, my power of Attraction!” And begin it with strangers: start talking to the people in an elevator, or in a grocery store. Start making a decision that from a place of no expectation you’re going to see what your point of Attraction is. Then when you have no negative expectations, wonderful things come from wonderful people everywhere you go.
And as you have been playing the game with strangers, then you can start playing it with these hard cases so to speak. While doing this little exercise you can feel the way you want to feel on purpose and you begin to notice that people begin responding to the way you feel. And it becomes more and more apparent that people respond to you in the same way you respond to them.
So if you want to change your vibrational stance relative to someone, you have to rebuild your relationship with them from the ground up. Especially if you are a long married couple. You cannot be repeating what is and expect change – no, you have to start over from the BEGINNING!
The way to start over is getting a note book and listing the positive aspects that come to mind most easily and amplifying them in your mind. You have to train yourself to activate a different part of them in you. And you have to do it consistently!
By changing your vibrational stance, you are not changing the other person at all – you are only lining up with other aspects of them – which they do have anyway, you see?
The tricky thing about that is that you didn’t think that you were vibrating that way before they showed that part to you. And it may be a little hard to get out of this because they keep showing it to you and you keep seeing it; and they keep showing it to you and you keep seeing it… Then you very much want to say to them: “Stop showing it to me, so I can stop seeing it!”
And we are saying to you: Stop seeing it and they will stop showing it to you!
Then you say: “You mean that characteristic will go away from them?”
And we say: No, but they can’t give you one radio station while you have activated another!
When you are not with them because you are activating other things within you, you will begin getting different things from them – it depends on what’s activated in you and the timing of your rendezvous. The timing of your rendezvous has to do with what’s most activated within you: when you work to activate a characteristic of someone that feels good to you, the Universe will help you to rendezvous with them when they are ready or able to present that characteristic. So you have to allow the Universe to deliver to you the timing of the rendezvous.
For example there are people out there who are going to have a traffic accident, there are other people who are going to have playful fits in elevators and how they line up with you, has nothing to do with them but only with your vibrational stance.
Or imagine you want always to have rain everywhere because that is beautiful and the land and the plants are happy – but you don’t want the rain falling on you. The Universe can accommodate that, because it’s only a question of timing, isn’t it?
We would like to give you one sentiment that you leave this meeting with and it would serve you for the next 20 years of delicious deliberate creating and that would be:
I’m just going to start making the best of things.
I’m going to make the best of this person.
I’m going to make the best of this conversation.
I’m going to make the best of this meal that I’m eating – even though I have eaten better.
I’m going to make the best of this bumpy road – even though I’ve driven smoother roads.
I’m going to make the best of it.
I’m going to make the best of it.
I’m going to make the best of it.
You will be judged
My basic fear is the fear of being judged.
The fear of being judged is valid because you’re gonna be judged. You cannot walk through a room where people are not observing you and from their perspective form an opinion and a conclusion. you’re gonna be judged and on and on and on it goes. You can never be or do the right thing for even most of them! You can’t even always please your mother; even when you tried really hard, because she’s fickle. Some days she is connected and some days she’s not. And on those days when she’s not connected – give it up! And there are so many of you who tried so hard to please her anyway and then came away concluding that you were a failure, because you were incapable of making her feel good. You thought you should be able to suffer enough to make it better for others and you cannot, you see?!
You can’t get poor enough to help poor people be prosperous.
You can’t get sad enough to help sad people to get happy.
You can’t get perfect enough to help people who want to be perfect.
People judge everything all day long because this is part of the preferring process; to find out what you don’t want and what you do want needs judgement. Its natural for everybody.
The only way to escape judgement for you is to go and stay in a place where no-one will ever see you. – And then you would worry about the weather or the cockroaches or…
However, you can be judged and care deeply about it or you can be judged and do not give a rip about it. And the difference between these two is the difference between being tortured or living happily ever after.
Living conditional love is really tiring. Conditional love says: I can only feel good under these conditions. Unconditional love is freeing; it’s in fact the only place where freedom is. Unconditional love says: I can feel good no matter what the conditions because i have power of focus.
When you started your journey into this physical world, it was that Source Energy You, that came forth lovingly into this experience, who loves what it sees. In other words the source of you, the soul of you is Love. If you would not have the awareness that someone is judging you, you would never have lost that sense of self appreciation. Love is just your natural state of being; so if you lost it, the only thing to get it back is stopping pushing against love.
Comparison is an interesting thing as it is necessary in order to find preference. Can you see the difference in looking at all these things and saying YES to this versus looking at all these things and saying no no no no? Remember that whatever you give your attention to, activates a vibration. If you say YES to the things you want, you activate the things that you want; if you say no to the things you don’t want, you activate the thing that you don’t want! And because we are living in an inclusive Universe, even if you say no to something, it comes because attention to it asks for it. So if you look at the buffet of things and you say ‘I want that’ but ‘I don’t want that’ – you are going to have both! You activated all of that.
That’s a great thing to know! To know that we have this internal GPS, our guiding system, that we love because it shows us so clearly when we are moving in the direction of what we want and when we are confused.
Here is the Prayer of Small Steps (Abhyasa):
I’m no longer gonna ask myself to feel good when I feel bad.
I’m just gonna ask myself to feel a little better than I’m feeling.
That if I feel really bad and i try to feel a little better and do…
And then i still don’t feel very good and i try to feel a little better and do…
And I still don’t feel all hat good but and i try to feel a little better and do…
Now I feel pretty good but I’d like to feel better so i try to feel a little better and do…
No I fell really good and I love feeling really good
I can hardly remember not feeling good, but I’m not worried about not feeling good
Because I know
If I ever don’t feel god, I can just try to feel a little better and I will
How to fall in love
To experience Love at first sight, do we have to practice it , we have to build the momentum, the two of us, so when we meet there will be love at first sight? Or is it enough if for example only me I’m building the momentum so strong that the other person cannot resist?
If you are describing two people who are tuned into what they really are and the Law of Attraction is bringing them together because of their vibrational equivalency. If there is no equivalency, the Law of Attraction is not going to bring the two of you together.
If one has practised long enough to be stable in a high vibration and the other just has a light moment, you can come together but it probably won’t last. This is 98% of all relationships are like that.
When we talk about momentum, you can imagine a merry go round in a play ground. The kids are on it and it’s running already. Now if you are the wheel and turning at good momentum, and there is another person, lonely and feeling bad… she is not going near your wheel or you won’t see her. And even if she tries to jump on your turning disc, the momentum will just throw her off into the bushes.
In fact the needy woman can only jump on your wheel if both of your vibrations match. Let’s say you generally are in a high momentum but right in that particular moment when she appears, you woke up bothered about a bad dream or you missed breakfast or… so suddenly your vibrational moment matches hers and hop! she’s on your wheel! Or the other way round: what if the person who generally would be the perfect match for you – is having a bad moment?
We want to tell you that how you feel and who jumps on your wheel are just the same thing. There are lots of people who jump on those low flying wheels and they are right for each other; they are miserable but they are right for each other.
With all this image of the merry go round we wanted to tell you, that if you want something everlasting – it is not your high-flying because you will always have low-flying moments!
The only thing we want to be everlasting is your awareness of your own alignment. And if you are attending to it as best as you can and your love is attending to it as best as he or she can, both of you are going to have lots of wonderful moments.
The important thing to acknowledge:
You are not looking for a partner, you are looking for well-being.
If you are feeling good, you don’t NEED a partner, you are already self-sufficient. So when you meet in that state there will be no neediness, your coming together will be so delicious. But if two people vibrate on the lower discs feeling needy or feeling unloved, they keep on needing each other to validate their existence – and that’s what doesn’t usually work because they are looking for love in all the wrong places.
So if we would give you any advice, we would tell you to watch the evidence of with whom Law of Attraction is matching you up, in order to evaluate on which disc you are vibrating and ADJUST ACCORDINGLY.
The thing that goes wrong with most people is hat they really are looking to others in order to raise their vibration – that’s going about it backwards!
Screw what others think
How do things get better?
It’s your ability to perceive the deliciousness of the moment, is what the improvement factor is.
I try to live my life following the guidance of my inner GPS. The majority of my friends are supportive with me and two are not.
You know that the greatest benefit you received was from the two who weren’t. Because they give you the opportunity to find that place of unconditional love. People who support you, don’t help you find unconditional love; and people who don’t support you, help you – isn’t that interesting?
If 98% are supporting you and 2% are not – that gives you a pretty good indication of where your vibrations are, doesn’t it? Do you think your goal should be 100%? We think you should take it as it comes, enjoy the improvement and feel as good as you can.
Let’s say the percentages are 50% allowing and 50% freaking out… would that change matter? Would you have to focus on the freak-outers? Do you want to exercise any control over what anybody thinks about anything? You don’t have any control like that! You only have control over the direction of your own thoughts, right?!
You’ll be where you wanna be when you don’t need to explain to anybody what’s going on.
Change your situation doesn’t work – ever
You are working in a job you don’t like?
You are not liking the face in the mirror?
You don’t like the place where you live anymore?
Your weight is not what it’s supposed to be?
It doesn’t matter where you are, but it does matter how you feel about where you are. But if you think that you have to change where you are in order to change how you feel – now you are in trouble.
Because it’s the other way ‘round.
Because you can’t get to another place like that.
In other words, you have to change how you feel while you’re still where you are and then where you are will change!
Let’s say you work as an employee and you want to start your own business because you are unhappy about where you are… so you’re beating the drum of resistance. When you go out there to start your own business in this framework , it will be very difficult for you because the Universe has not been preparing the things for you own business because it has been preparing the things that you don’t like because that’s the drum you were beating all the time!
That’s why we always say, stay right where you are and bring yourself in alignment with your soul by looking at the positive aspects of where you are. As soon as you launched the rocket of your desire to be self employed, the Universe has taken it already on to fashion it for you… waiting that you get yourself up to speed with what you want. Think much more about what you want or like about where you are right now and not at all about what you don’t want in where you are right now. In other words the Universe is waiting for you to feel good – that’s all!
If you feel good about where you are, you no longer are resisting what the Universe is working on.
Anyway when you don’t like where you are right now, you are using other people or circumstances as an excuse to hold yourself in vibrational resistance to things you want – because you are thinking about them and not about what you want. That’s why your situation gets more and more annoying with time.
But in reality NO1 can lay any restrictions on you because NO1 can control the vibrations that you offer; it’s always and only you that is limiting yourself!
It doesn’t matter where you are. The potential for frustration and anger is there and the potential for satisfaction is also there and you’ve got to choose which way you orient yourself.
Most of the world is talking about unconditional love like it is a good thing but almost nobody understands what unconditional love is! Unconditional love is feeling connected to your Soul in spite of the conditions, is the ability to adjust your vibration no matter what’s happening around you.
Stop being a people pleaser
We want to remind you that pleasing people has some different components: to make people feel good is a wonderful thing. But when you believe that it is your job to get them feeling good, it almost always backfires. Teach them by your example and don’t try to change their conditions!
Usually only those who have the wherewithal to actually change the conditions of somebody else, only those who have the kind of money to bail someone out of debt or buy them a new car when they have wrecked their old one… only those really come to the personal knowing that it never works.
You know it, too, unless they change their vibration, their experience isn’t going to change!
So yes, if how you are, makes people happy – great! But NEVER NEVER NEVER try to make someone happy.
Why we don’t need a God
Same video, edited by aviram, Plasma-Laurentides
It’s a simple concept: You are a thinker and your thoughts are turning into things. Notice the correlation between the thought and the thing that it turned into. Just show yourself your own power: the things that manifest are the natural consequence of your vibration.
Then take a moment to recall the vibration that allowed it to become – not the vibration that created it! That is an important distinction: the creation is a given, it’s natural; when you asked it was put into your vortex and it was a done deal even then. – But what thoughts have you been consistently offering that ALLOWED the natural unfolding? The natural unfolding of this wanted or unwanted result. This is how you gain your sense of empowerment. You see that you are the one wanting, the prime mover and you are the enjoyment when it slowly manifests in so many marvellous steps.
Looking at it that way, there is not really any need for a creator, because creation happens as a natural consequence. Even the concept of a God/Creator is actually not needed, you see? You may need a God/Creator as long as the Laws of the Universe are unknown to you – but once you have experienced manifestations as natural consequences of you thoughts, your beliefs and your vibration – then there is only you, the extension of the Divine Soul having this physical experience in this 3D, physical World.
… and that is Love
Love is – in very simple and accurate terms – you being in the receptive mode so that you are the full recipient of how Source feels about whatever you are focused upon at this moment. Love is pure Source flowing through you, unrestricted.
Love flowing unrestricted comes from you being unconditional. As soon as you put conditions, Source cannot flow unrestricted anymore because you want it to flow along your conditions, it’s not a river anymore, it’s a channel.
We don’t tell you to ignore all the bad conditions in the world. You can’t. But we tell you that you can even look at a bad condition and maintain a high vibration, because while you’re looking at the bad condition, you know already that the solution is on it’s way. That’s also why we’re saying to you that you have received the solution before you’ve even observed the problem. That happens because your soul knew what you were about to encounter and prepared you for it.
How you eliminate unfriendly people
Let’s say you greet someone and this person doesn’t great you back, ignores you or is outright rejecting. Right away arise old believe patterns like : ‘Oh I must have done something wrong in the past so now i get the result of that’. This believe doesn’t fit with what you now want. What can you do?
You can start soothing yourself and you say to yourself the best that you can until it feels better; you might say a bunch of things that don’t work until you stumble on one that does. For example :
‘That person’s response to me had far less to do with me that it did with them. Someone who doesn’t feel good in the moment can’t respond nicely to me no matter how wonderful I am…’
‘Law of attraction lined us up to get what we got from each other so there must be something in my vibration that evoked that something that I’m going to gradually change…I don’t want to care about why other people are the way they are… I do want to care about what vibration I offered manifested in this situation…’
‘In fact I am grateful to you showed to me where I am in regards to myself right now; you showed me that I was offering a vibration that is unlikeable. But I will not be changing so you can like me; I’m changing because I don’t want to have meetings like this anymore.
‘I’m sure that this isn’t such a personal thing; this person is probably behaving this way to a lot of people – it isn’t about me…’
‘ Not everybody is treating me this way. I have different relationships with different people…’
‘This is not what normally happens to me; this is sort of an isolated incident…’
‘That this is happening to me is actually to my advantage, because it gets me thinking – whenever I know what I don’t want, I always know more clearly what I do want: I really do want to get along well with people and I do not want to care too much what anybody else is thinking about me…’
‘What is it that I do want in situations like this? When I meet people I want the best of both of us to meet; I like to bring uplifting things from them; I like them to feel glad that they saw me; I want them to greet me in a way that lets me know that they are glad to see me…’
Eye-opening explanation of co-creation and mutuality
Co-creation is important because you are not doing anything on your own. There are too many processes going on that you aren’t aware of and they are part of the interactions that lead to your manifestations. The only thing required from you is to lower your resistance against the manifestation of what you want; or in other words you can do your best to find the best alignment that you can manage with the vibration of ypur wish.
You have also to apply patience so that the not-enough right now can be felt as enough right now. If not-enough is not enough right now, it can’t be more – do you get that?
In many many relationships the two partners are not on the same level, they don’t share the same worldview – now if one partner does not want to know or does not believe in the laws of the univers (law of attraction), does this affect the materialisation?
« My partner is rather looking at the bank statements to use it as evidence for her feeling of not-enough – while I can observe how the things I want fall marvellously into place. »
Abraham states : You have an advantage over your partner. You manage to come in alignment with the vibrational speed of your desires, so you can see them manifest and also you felt that even though all the pieces haven’t manifested yet – you still can feel o.k. about it. You still felt good in the process. Your advantage is more happiness.
Don’t worry about someone else who can’t take your word for it, because words don’t teach – but just keep teaching through the clarity of your own example. It doesn’t matter in your life what anybody else is doing, unless you are giving your attention to it.
Here’s how it goes :
You have two perspectives
the perspective of your inner being that knows all your desires and the fastest way leading to them
the perspective of your beliefs about it
Your beliefs about manifestation are just like the ones your partner advances : both are based upon the current manifestation. But manifestations cannot be based on the current manifestation or nothing could evolve – could it? You got to see past what is or you keep only regurgitating more of it.
It’s completely illogical and completely understandable how people get into that place. The variance between your inner being and you is much less than the variance between your partner and your inner being. It’s that variance that is the time factor that slows things down. That’s o.k. because in this time gap you can learn to better align yourself or refine your desires to create something even more phantastic.
Now let’s talk about co-creation.
When you talk about co-creation, you usually mean that what the person, that i am co-creating with, thinks about what we want, matters. You’re making them more important then we want you to make them.
Now the fact that you are in a relationship with your partner is already proof of your compatibility; but we want rather to use the word ‘mutuality’ than ‘compatibility’. The basic philosophies, world views are mutual in you; they really have mutual vibration – so any time you focus on those things, you’re feeling really good.
Now let’s look at the things your are not so mutual about – for example you like things orderly and your partner doesn’t care about it or you are a big tipper in the restaurant and your partner is more stingy about it… you don’t have much mutuality about those areas – but what are you focussing on? There are still these many fundamental things that you are mutual about.
First and foremost you would want to look for the aspects – in whatever you’re giving your attention to – that lets you be mutual with your own inner being. No other person on this planet is going to mutual to you on every subject. Now following your desire to be heard and understood by another person, you work for mutuality with THEM – and what happens is, you mess up your mutuality with your inner being. That means you are giving the ONLY mutuality that you can ever totally have for something very fluctuating and unstable; and you are giving up your POWER.
That’s why relationships seem hard to you – they don’t need to. That’s why you feel irritated with your partner who won’t come up to where you are – because you had to go down where he was and now you left your inner being – and that’s his fault! The only alternative is : to remember the things that are mutual for the both of you and keep on focussing on that – even if it is only one single thing…
Let’s talk about this in very practical terms.
Let’s say you found this new house and you are both excited about it; so you are mutual in your desire for it. Both of you are aligned with your respective inner beings and you are aligned to each other – so there is true mutuality about this. But when it comes to how fast it’s going to manifest or the way it’s going to manifest– that’s where you vary a little bit. Your partner might say for example :
« I don’t know how we can get 4 million dollars in the next two weeks before somebody else buys it. »
There is a logic to this, based upon what he has observed in his life – but what feeling does it create in you hearing this?
« It creates a feeling of dissatisfaction and frustration in me. »
Now pay really good attention – your dissatisfaction is not coming from what your partner believes; your dissatisfaction arises because you joined him in that thought and you left your own momentum, your alignment with your inner being.
So the way to go from here is to find a more satisfying thought like :
« You never know; all kinds of things can happen; the universe is really on our side. »
« Cooperative forces are being gathered, thoughts are turning into things slowly and steadily and we will see it if we are patient enough. »
« Doesn’t it feel good to think like this, to be there ready to see things happen »
If these thoughts are satisfying to you – that’s enough. You are not working against it, you remain in the receptive mode. You are encouraging it to manifest by looking for positive aspects about it. And you are not trying to push things into being before there is a vibrational alignment.
So see yourself in partnership with this person – but see yourself more in partnership with your inner being and the universal forces. Then make a choice every single time which partner is bringing more leverage right now to the table. Your partner of the moment is the partner who gives you a satisfying feeling rather than a dissatisfying feeling. In the wake of that you’ll have fewer conversations because you’ll want to talk more about mutual things than diverging things…
And it is very important with what you are mutual; you have understood the mutuality on the positive side, where you get satisfaction out of this complicity. So here’s the other side of the coin :
Someone who is open to be hurt is mutual with a bully.
Someone who is worried about money is mutual with a real estate agent that isn’t focused.
Someone who is jealous about others is mutual with bad timing.
Most people living on this planet right now do not believe that they are individually invincible; most people believe they need a father figure, a government figure, a God figure… some kind of figure that supports and protects them. That’s the vibration most people got going on, even though their inner being knows for sure that’s not true and they loose their mutuality with their inner being every time they think those thoughts and they feel crummy in the process of it. The truth is though :
YOU ARE INVINCIBLE, YOU CAN BE OR DO OR HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT.
And the more during the day you look for mutuality with your inner being, the feeling of satisfaction – the more stable you stand. And it becomes completely irrelevant to you how anybody else feels about anything because you are no longer looking to find mutuality with them in order to be understood by them.
You can ask yourself the question : Do you really want to be understood by someone who doesn’t believe in abundance, but does believe in deprivation and hardship? Do you really want to be mutual with those thoughts?